Under the weight of the years and deep below the conscience, lies an unfathomable abyss, an unknown world we call the unconscious. Our conscious is like a lighted match, and the unconscious is like a vast dark night. The most important part of us, is the unknown part of us. That is why we do what we don’t want, because from unknown areas arise unknown impulses that surprise, assault and dominate our consciousness, and we do what we don’t want.
We are very familiar with the sons and daughters of selfishness: pride, vanity, envy, rancor, revenge, resentments; in the end, all kind of aggressiveness. These are the beasts that tear apart unity and peace, often the husband against the wife and vice versa.
What should we do so that the children of selfishness do not lead us inexorably to marital failure? In one word, what should we do in order to eliminate selfishness from the fight?
In general common sense, a good social education, and psychological counseling can become valuable aids in keeping the marital commitment healthy. But it is not enough. We need to build a bridge between two shores, between two hearts. Let us look for a new force that, coming from outside, is instilled in the two hearts, becoming a unifying element that eventually will be a unifying factor that will bring the feuding shores together.
And that somebody has a name: Jesus Christ.
Only Jesus Christ can be installed in the intimacy of the heart and produce satisfaction, which compensates for the cost of having to die in order to love. Only strongly hanging on to a living and vibrant Jesus Chris with all the adherent and unitive energies, only then, can one clench ones teeth, swallow the saliva, keep quiet, and respond to shouting with silence, and to outbursts with serenity.
Only Jesus can invert the laws of the heart, placing forgiveness where the instincts screamed revenge, placing softness where the heart demanded violence, placing sweetness wherever there was bitterness, placing love wherever selfishness ruled.
The fundamental secret for a happy and long conjugal life is imposing the convictions of faith over spontaneous reactions, in intimacy with Jesus..
Excerpts from the book: A Happy Marriage by Father Ignacio Larranaga.
