We have reached the great moment in which the Poor One touched the bottom of nothingness. Silence and solitude reached maximum depth and, because of that, the availability of the Poor One to the Father and the brethren will be supreme, transforming him on the cross into the Great Servant, the Servant of God par excellence.
In order not to explode in pain, the Poor Man of Nazareth firmly grasped the hands of the Father, and from the depths of his soul, came forth a prayer of offering and of praise. It is difficult to imagine a better anesthesia!
“From the depths of my soul, let my cry rise up to you, Father of tenderness. I have descended into the deep waters, and I am drowning. I raise my eyes and I see nothing. I am sunk in the mud and only shadows surround my frontiers. How can I get out of here? Give me your hand, my Father. Although I am dying in pain, I do not want pain to occupy center stage in my soul. I do not want, Father, to be a pitying spectator of my own wounds and defeats. I do not want to fly in concentric circles, like a vulture,
around my misfortunes as though my existence were the center of the world, as though there exist no other values and interests other than my own. I do not want this horrible pain to close in upon me, but rather, that it makes me go out like a Paschal dawn, and in openness and solidarity towards my brothers whom you have given me. I want, beloved Father, this afternoon, precisely when pain and death apparently defeat me in order to establish a reign of freedom over pain and death itself.
“Oh, Father of tenderness: this afternoon I take in my hands this bitter cup, and I lovingly deposit it in your hands as an offering of love and the price of ransom. I assume the pain of all of humanity in my own pain. I assume the assassination of millions of innocent people in my own assassination. I want to bear the infinite injustices and injuries of humanity in my own sentence. In my own agony, the dying of all times also agonized. This afternoon, my Father, I want the immensity of human suffering, once transformed into love by my suffering, to have the sense of redemption and the value of expiation, thereby sanctifying pain forever. I want the pain and love of this afternoon to embrace like the twilight and the dawn, and let redemption be a tree with open frontiers which, with its shade, cover the entire human race. I want to push humankind towards an unknown home, to free the tired feet from their heavy chains, and put into action a love that does not possess nor is possessed.
“They expelled me from life, my Father, because I did not want to enter the circle of their outlines and systems, because you, my Father, sent me to establish other worlds in other orbits. I had to end in this manner as a consequence of my fidelity to your plan of salvation, and thus my death will be consistent with my life. In your name I have scandalized; in your name, I have been a rebel and a disobedient soul against those who censured me in your name. And in your name, they condemn me as a blasphemer.
For being faithful to you, I got into trouble with the authorities, and here I am to fulfill your will. In obeying you, my Father, they raised high waves that pushed me to the apex of this cross.
The Kingdom that I have not succeeded to inaugurate, I leave in your hands. I know that you are able to raise it upon the rubble of my life. Though I do not see the cards, I confide in you: my suffering and my death will be the greatest service in favor of my brothers and my best homage of love for you.
From the book the “The Poor One of Nazareth”, by Fr. Ignacio Larranaga
